I screwed up everthing

~
Mood - upset
~

I'm so upset. Things are getting worst by now. I dont want it, I dont want to get involved. But I cant escape, because I'm the caused of it. Honestly, it's all my fault. If I never go near her, I wont screwed up everything. If I never friends with her, things wont be like this in the end. Everything I done, is all stupid, wrong!

To think about it, I was laughing. I laughed because I'm so stupid, an idiot! No wonder people will hate me in the end! hahaha I'm so stupid, I look like an idiot everytime, no point! hahaha

I fail the test for my life.

First question.
Did you do anything good in your life?
No, all I've done never helped people, it's all useless.

Second question
Do you ever work hard?
Nope, not once in my whole life until now.

Third question.
Do people love you always?
Yup they do but in the end they will just hate me and left.

Fourth Question
Do you think that you are happy?
NO, I never smile happily, they are always fake.

Fifth question
Do you betrayed your friend before?
Yes I did before, I have no choice but to do it.

Sixth question
Are you an honest person?
No, I lied about myself. I lied many things to my friends and family.

There's no ending of these questions. And all the answer will be no. And, I Failed. I never failed in my exams, but I always failed in my life. Honestly, I'm sorry to everyone around me. I'm sorry that I touched you. I'm sorry that I bounce on you. I'm sorry that I loved you. I'm sorry to make you hated me. I'm sorry I'm useless. I'm sorry that I make you cried. I'm sorry to make you know me.

I...I have no rights to stand beside you. Please dont near me, or not you will get hurt by me in the end.

Loving you is difficult

~
Mood - Enough Sleeping

Anime - Ouran High School Host Club!!! XD
~

Sigh. Enough Sleeping!! I was so tired yesterday, and now I slept until 11 something, I'm so satisfied! ~.~ Refreshing today and Going to go back to Penang on Friday!! But there's marathon I want to go on the same day, and taekwondo too, what should I do?? Sad... cant go to marathon this year, so looking forward to it....Sigh.

I'm Confused and Tired =(

~
Mood - Tired
~

I'm confused and tired, really. Home works all the time, problems all the time, school all the time. I'm really tired. I just want to sit down and look to the blue sky. Relaxing my mind and body. Everything is going wrong and I'm confused. God, do I have the rights to ask when is the time going to stop for a while? Until I have my rest enough and continue moving my life? I'm exhausted, really exhausted.

Time is going too fast. One second it become one minute; one minute become five minutes; five minutes become one hour; one hour become one day; one day become one month; one month become one year, then it's happy new year again. Really, when is the time going to stop? It's enough! People lives until 100 years old, yet never tired. Why am I only 14 years old and already feeling enough for my life? Is it because I take everything too serious and in the end, it's still useless?

I'm done for my life!

Loving you is my Life

Oni wa soto, Fuku wa uchi! haha
(Get out Ogre! Come in Happiness!)

~
Mood - Okay but a bit down
~

Well, unfortunately, nothing to say. x]

Everything I've done is useless.
The smell I miss the most,
The sound I miss the most,
The place I love the most,
has gone infront of me.
Last time, I dont even want to look at it.
But now, I want to look at it so much.
I betrayed myself.
How useless. Sigh.

平凡的事都会忘，但最想忘的，一直都想起。
一切只在我面前，我已拿到了。但不知不觉，一切都不见了。
你伤害了我的朋友，我是不会放过你的。

陈媛媛， 你等着瞧吧！
你的一切都会离开你的！去感受吧！


I draw one =]

2/2/2010 - End of our friendship - YuanYuan - Thx for being my friend once before =]

~
Mood - Great!

Mision - Get into 1 to 10 in class! Study Hard!
~


All right, just lost one friend, and made new two friends. Friends are complicated, but if you truly understand your friend, you wont feel complicated. Making new friends are super! Fun and refreshing! Thanks for being my friend!

Tomorrow got basketball! Last year I totally dont want to go to basketball, this year is so fun! Its great! I'm looking forward to it even though I know what's going to happen. Merentas Desa, heard its on this friday, but suddenly heard it changed or what, anyway I'm looking forward to it too. =D Great day!

Painful Love

~
Mood- Fine

Now Watching - Ouran High School Host Club
~

Something that I dont want it to be happen, it just happened. Time was like just flew away infront of me. Wonder when will it stop infront of me. I read manga, I read novels. Thats because I dont want to think of my real life. Its hurt when I think about it. Thinking that what happened, what is happening and what will happen. Pain will flow into my heart from my mind, slowly beating really fast. Suddenly, my face turns red and hot, that's when I cried. Peaceful will never come into my mind. Life will never be the same as novels, nor either manga.

I cant live without you

~
Mood - Bad

Musics - Crawl by Chris Brown
~

Now I know, through my friend. I cried again today. I felt so disappointed, very. It's not the anger that I have, it's the sadness. Dont know why, I just cant face them. Maybe if I continually look to their face, it will hurt me. Or maybe I dont know how to react when I look at them.

I've been walking so slow these days. Maybe I dont want the day to be ended like this. It's sad to see the day ended without a meaning. Something is always in my head, never get out. I'm all alone. Nobody is standing beside me, anymore. Many of my friends are gone, or maybe it's just my imagination. My eye brown is always looking sadly, even though I'm smiling. I wish someone will notice that.

Well, tried to cheer myself up. Smile~ =]